Caleb Hawley

Once again, I failed to get any press on my show, so I just wrote my own.

CD Release Sings of Success; Caleb’s Style Still Suffers
By: One of Caleb’s Alter Egos

Wow was it a happening place at the Bitter End last night. The room was packed and ready to witness Caleb Hawley’s much anticipated CD release show. There were more people on stage than Hawley had ever had, and every single one of them managed to look better than him. How embarrassing that the star of the show failed to dress for the occasion. In fact, I had assumed he was the roadie until he introduced himself. “Wow, that’s him?” I said to myself, as my expectations fell fast. This was no Lady Gaga.

I started to walk out, when suddenly a glorious sound came from the stage. I walked back to my seat and decided to give him another chance. A groovin’ rhythm section and howlin’ horn section ripped a solid first song about his struggle in the music biz, entitled “Small Steps”. I thought to myself, “If only he let ME dress him, he wouldn’t have such a hard time!” Next he started playing a song about the economy – I could relate, because my daddy worked for Bernie Madoff. It had been a rough year, and the song made me realize that one day we would be rich again. In the middle of the song he busted out Annie Lennox’s “Walking on Broken Glass” – what a treat! As the show went on, I shed tears of laughter and tears of sadness. One of the highlights was the when percussionist Ryan Vaughn took a solo on his cheeks. The cheeks on his face of course. The show ended with “Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough”. The strobes turned on and I felt like I was in the club. Ah, familiarity. All of the sudden everyone in the audience turned into monsters and did the dance from Thriller. I don’t know how everyone knew it, but it was awesome.

By the end of the show, I had had myself a marvelous time, and had completely forgotten about his unfashionable first impression. I decided to stay for the next act, Martin Rivas. A funny thing happened. I once again thought he was the roadie, and once again started to leave, and once again walked back to my seat, and once again forgot about fashion. They must be musical cousins or something.