I’ve got lots of friends from all over the place
Some come from Alabama, some from outer space
I will hang with them all day long until my eyes turn red
But after all, red’s the color of love, so with them I’ll go to bed.
Chorus
Mom calls me for dinner, Dad calls me for help
My old friends call me up to play football, but I’m wrapped up in my shelf
‘Cause on that shelf is a brand new system with a world that can’t be beat
And all I gotta do is sit right here in my lazy boy comfort seat.
I’ve got these two friends on steroids; sometimes they go on killing sprees
Oh man, it’s amazing! They blow up bombs and everything
We don’t talk at all but they’ll defeat a giant heart
When I go up down left right left right ABAB select start
Chorus
My mutant friends from the old world say
I need to get a just a little more sociable
I’m sure it is unintentional that they’ve become so one dimensional
Me and my real friends have made it conventional, since they are two dimensional
That I make my old friends dispensable, since they are so one dimensional
And I say
You better not mess with me
I’ve got friends in high places
I’ve got friends in the NBA
About one thousand ninjas and a talking mushroom
Then there came the day when all of my friends died
My whole community fell off the shelf- it was one massive genocide
I’d blow my own air into them- you know, CPR, to bring them back
But their eyelids would not open- the T.V. screen stayed black
Well my Mom called me for dinner, Dad called me for help
My old friends called me up to play football, but I’ve been wrapped up in my shelf
Cause on that shelf was a brand new system with a world I swore that couldn’t be beat
Now all that I’ve done for the past five years
Is sit right here in my lazy boy comfort seat